Navigating Summer Social Etiquette: Decoding "Bogan" Behaviour Beyond the Budget
As the UAE enjoys its warmer climes and the spirit of outdoor gatherings, an etiquette expert has shed light on behaviours that might be perceived as less than refined, particularly during the summer social season. Jo Hayes, a distinguished etiquette consultant, clarifies that the term "bogan" is less about financial standing and more about conduct. It describes individuals who exhibit "uncouth" traits such as disrespect, discourtesy, selfishness, or a general lack of taste.
"The traditional perception of a 'bogan' often linked them to a working-class background," Hayes explains. "However, I always emphasise that being a 'bogan' is not dictated by income; it's a matter of manners and behaviour, not budget." She highlights that many individuals with modest incomes possess impeccable manners, while others, often referred to as "cashed-up bogans," may have significant wealth but lack refinement in their actions and style. Hayes's core philosophy centres on promoting good manners and proper etiquette, which she defines not as being "fancy" or "posh," but as upholding the dignity of oneself and others.
Common Pitfalls at Summer Gatherings
Summer often brings with it an increase in social events like barbecues, picnics, and beach outings. While these occasions are typically casual, certain behaviours can detract from the enjoyment of others.
- Audio Etiquette: Playing phone audio on loudspeaker in public spaces is a significant faux pas. This extends to bringing personal speakers to the beach or a picnic unless you are entirely alone. While music is acceptable at a private pool party, it should not be audible to neighbours. "In public spaces, people nearby do not want to, and should not, be subjected to your music or audio," Hayes states. "It's disrespectful, discourteous, and selfish. Remember the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
- Phone Presence: Beyond audio, the constant chiming of notifications can contribute to "noise pollution" at social events. It's advisable to keep your phone on silent. Furthermore, while taking a photograph is acceptable, the expert encourages putting phones away and being fully present when socialising with others.
- Arrival Etiquette: Hayes points out that arriving at a barbecue with a beverage in hand and announcing an intention to become heavily intoxicated, for example, "ready to get HAMMERRRREED," is a clear sign of "bogan" behaviour.
Dress Code Considerations for Discretion
Hayes also touches upon the unspoken rules surrounding dress codes, particularly concerning "inappropriate clothing" at family gatherings.
- Context is Key: A swimsuit or bikini might be suitable for a beach day, but it's generally not appropriate for a family lunch with elders or a visit to a public establishment like a supermarket. "Coming to a summer BBQ at aunty Susan's, with little cousins, nana and grandad, and the conservative neighbours next door, wearing a breasts-bulging-out bikini and butt-showing denim shorts? Hmmm, that's bogan, darling," she remarks. Such attire can make others feel uncomfortable, and covering up is seen as the considerate choice.
- Denim Dilemmas: For women, Hayes advises against denim shorts that are excessively revealing. "Denim shorts that reveal one's bum. Darling, no. Have some dignity, and ditch the denim undies, I mean, shorts," she advises. While denim shorts can be a stylish summer staple, they should adequately cover the posterior and the upper thigh. A woman who dresses modestly, according to Hayes, demonstrates awareness of her dignity and self-worth, as well as respect for others. Revealing midriffs or excessive cleavage is deemed "tacky." She suggests looking to figures like Princess Catherine or Queen Mary of Denmark as role models for dignified and tasteful attire.
- Fabric Choices for Comfort and Style: To remain polished during hot and humid summer months, Hayes recommends opting for light, breathable, natural fabrics like cotton and linen, while avoiding anything too tight or clingy.
Elevating the Backyard Barbecue
While the charm of an Australian backyard barbecue often lies in its "super casual nature," Hayes offers tips for those wishing to host a more stylish and tasteful event. She notes that while trestle tables, plastic chairs, and unmanicured backyards are part of the relaxed vibe, certain touches can significantly enhance the presentation.
- Tablecloths Matter: Serving food directly on a plastic trestle table or other bare outdoor surfaces can appear untasteful. Using a tablecloth, even if it seems old-fashioned, can elevate the dining experience.
Defining "Bogan" Behaviours: Beyond the Barbecue
The concept of "bogan" behaviour extends beyond social gatherings to everyday actions and habits.
Foul Language and Public Decorum
The use of foul language in public is identified as a classic indicator of "bogan" behaviour. Such language can create an uncomfortable atmosphere for those around, particularly families with young children. Hayes stresses that while individuals may choose to use expletives in their private spaces, subjecting others to them in public is inconsiderate.
Reckless Driving and Noise Pollution
"Hooning," characterised by dangerous and reckless driving such as high-speed pursuits and burnouts, is unequivocally labelled as "bogan." The loud backfiring of modified engines and excessive exhaust noise are also cited as inconsiderate behaviours, especially when occurring late at night, disturbing neighbours and pedestrians. This behaviour is not only illegal but also supremely disrespectful to the wider community.
Public Intoxication
Drunk and disorderly conduct, marked by loudness, obnoxiousness, and potential altercations, is another trait associated with "bogan" behaviour.
Footwear Faux Pas
While going barefoot is acceptable at the beach, it is considered "bogan" to do so in shops or service stations. This practice is deemed unhygienic and generally unpleasant. A pair of thongs (flip-flops) is considered the minimum acceptable footwear in such public spaces.
Automotive Adornments
The presence of vulgar or offensive bumper stickers on vehicles, particularly those that are degrading towards women, is seen as a tacky and outdated practice.
Table Manners and Host Etiquette
Even in a casual backyard barbecue setting, Hayes maintains that basic table manners are still important.
- Cutlery Considerations: While eating a sausage sizzle or a burger with one's hands is perfectly acceptable, other barbecue foods, such as steak and salad, require cutlery. "No one wants to see you gnawing at your meat like a caveman. Or a dog with a bone," Hayes states. She advocates for the proper use of knives and forks, even in a relaxed environment, emphasizing decorum and civility over a five-star restaurant formality. Using a napkin for cleanliness and refraining from burping are also highlighted as essential elements of general civility.
Food and Beverage Presentation
Hayes believes that while a barbecue can be as relaxed or as "classy" as one wishes, presentation matters.
- Snack Presentation: Even store-bought snacks should be removed from their original packaging and served in bowls, platters, or on plates. Pouring chips into a bowl or arranging crackers on a platter elevates the perceived quality of the food.
- Beverage Service: While bottled drinks are acceptable, serving them in glass jugs or a punch bowl can enhance the overall aesthetic. Keeping drinks in an esky (cooler) is also a practical and acceptable solution.
The "Bogan" Drink?
When it comes to specific drinks, Hayes cautiously suggests that rum and coke might be considered a "bogan" beverage, but quickly qualifies this by stating that personal enjoyment is paramount. She adds that consuming it directly from the can can be less refined than pouring it into a glass or using a stubby cooler. The key, she reiterates, is to avoid excessive intoxication, which then unequivocally tips into "bogan" behaviour.
Ultimately, Hayes emphasises that summer barbecues should foster a "super-relaxed vibe." As long as general civility and decency are observed, the specific food and drinks chosen are generally acceptable. The focus remains on thoughtful presentation and considerate behaviour, ensuring a pleasant experience for all guests.
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