Why Rising at 5am Doesn't Mean Success

The Pressure of Perfect Mornings

While browsing the self-help section of a bookstore, I came across The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma. His morning routine revolves around a 60-minute “Victory Hour,” where he dedicates the first hour of the day—starting at 5 a.m.—to “move, reflect, and grow.” This involves a session of vigorous movement, followed by meditation or journaling to set intentions for the day, and then reviewing personal goals before sunrise.

Another self-care expert, Mel Robbins, suggests getting out of bed and giving yourself a high five in front of the mirror. According to her, this practice helps cultivate self-love and reinforces a sense of personal strength.

Similarly, Admiral William H. McRaven’s book Make Your Bed encourages people to make their beds immediately upon waking. He argues that completing even a small task like this can create a sense of accomplishment and pride. While the title seems straightforward, it highlights the belief that small habits can lead to larger successes.

There is an overwhelming emphasis on morning routines as the key to success and wealth. It's no surprise that celebrities often share their routines with the public. For instance, Gwyneth Paltrow has a favorite morning smoothie that includes almond milk, almond butter, coconut oil, vanilla mushroom powder, ashwagandha, Himalayan sea salt, and even “moon dust of choice.” Meanwhile, Kris Jenner, the matriarch of the Kardashian family, rises at 4 a.m. to begin exercising by 4:30 a.m.

The implication is that if we adopt the habits of successful individuals, we too can achieve similar outcomes. But for many, the idea of starting the day with smoothies, intention-setting, meditation, and high-fiving oneself sounds exhausting and unrealistic. It feels like our mornings have been taken over by influencers, celebrities, and self-help gurus.

What about the alternative? Waking up and lying in bed for an hour, reflecting on past relationships or embarrassing moments? Or making a coffee, returning to bed, and scrolling through social media? Or simply doing nothing for a while?

My ideal morning is one where I wake up naturally (as being an early riser comes with the challenges of having children and experiencing menopause). I feed the cats, unload the dishwasher, and sit on the sofa, staring into space. I scroll through my phone as much as possible before the kids see me and realize I’m addicted to it. Occasionally, I might head to the local gym, but mainly to calm my anxiety rather than for fitness.

The Reality of Morning Routines

I’ve noticed that those who share their productive morning routines on social media often don’t have children, pets, or other responsibilities. For a mother of a newborn, the idea of waking up earlier to follow these routines is nearly impossible. What about someone working late shifts, like a nurse who gets home in the early hours? How can they engage in a high-five ritual when they’re just trying to get some rest?

Mornings are indeed a great time for a fresh start, and they can be an opportunity to commit to positive changes. However, I believe there’s an overemphasis on glorifying productivity from the moment we open our eyes. We should question whether perfect mornings are the only path to a fulfilling life.

When I was a child, my father would wake up late and spend the first hour of the day in silence, walking from room to room with a cup of black coffee. After an hour, he would smoke his pipe in the garden, muttering nonsense to the dog. Around 11:30 a.m., he would start speaking in full sentences again. We used to tease him about his bad mood in the morning, but we loved him for it.

My father has passed away now, but I can't help but imagine how he'd react to all the 5 a.m. enthusiasts—those who talk about their routines, hopes, and dreams. He would likely laugh at the idea that a perfect morning guarantees achieving all your desires. If we tried to engage him in conversation, he’d probably say, “Give me a couple more hours,” and add, “I need more coffee. What’s the big rush anyway?”

Finding the Right Morning Routine for You

Anna Mathur, a psychotherapist and author of The Good Decision Diary, offers practical advice on creating a morning routine that works for you:

1. Don’t sweat the routine too hard
   The best morning routine isn’t a checklist or a marathon of self-care. Instead, ask yourself, “What do I need most today?” if you enjoy morning routines and find them beneficial.

2. Think about what works for you
   Some days, you might choose to move your body, while on others, you might prefer to stay in bed with a slice of toast. When we stop copying others' habits and instead focus on our own needs, we build routines that truly work for us.

3. Be flexible
   If you choose to have a morning routine, have a variety of options and pick what suits your energy levels and resources that day. If you like structure, have a plan, but ensure it nurtures or energizes you, not just serves as a performance. A 5 a.m. start might feel amazing one day, but if you're exhausted, it could drain you further.

4. Beware the influencers
   Learn to do your own thing. It may take time to tune into what you actually need if you've relied on others’ voices for guidance. Focus on what works for you, rather than what works for others.